Hi Reader,
It's me - Aimée Rebecca - your internet bestie who is currently roasting in the garden and doing her utmost not to devour an entire pack of chocolate digestive biscuits. How's your day going?
I was planning on sending out a completely different email today but I went into the kitchen to pour a glass of water before sitting down to type and this story randomly popped into my head. So we're doing a u-turn and I'm going to share this instead.
I talk a lot about how, after I called off my engagement in 2020, my mental health suffered. It was rough! And to make matters worse, there was someone really close in my life who I opened up to about all my thoughts, fears, sadness, and struggles, who completely dropped off the face of the earth when I needed them most.
It was one of the first things I brought up to my new life coach when we started working together. I felt so hurt, so abandoned, so completely and utterly let down by the fact that this person couldn't even drop me a message to see how I was doing.
And then my life coach asked me a question.
"Is that really out of character for her?"
"No," I said, rolling my eyes. "She's always been this way. Whenever she needs someone, I'm the first person she calls but she never makes an effort for me. She's so unreliable!"
"So if this is the way she's always been and you know that about her, why are you so upset that she's just being who she is?"
Mic drop!
Not a single one of us is perfect. The people we love might have a thousand wonderful qualities but there are always going to be parts of them that drive us absolutely bananas!
Ultimately, when we find ourselves repeatedly hurt by someone else's behaviour, have a choice to make:
- Decide the hurt they cause is too great to justify the relationship and move on.
- Learn to accept that person for who they are and acknowledge that they might never change.
Getting irate because someone doesn't behave the way you think is right is a complete waste of your emotional energy. The only person it hurts is you.
I decided to take a step back from that person. There's still a place for her in my life and I still love her dearly. But I realised she was never going to be the friend who would be there for me when things got hard or the one I could rely on when I needed help. Now I accept the friendship for what it is rather than what I thought it should be and it works a lotbetter.
People can change, sure, but it's not your job to change them. Your job is simply to decide who's going to feature in your life and who isn't. Have boundaries, walk away from toxic people, but have grace for those who make the cut. They might not be perfect but none of us are. You get to make the decision who you have in your life, Reader 🥰
✨No Gate-Keeping Here!
I'm heading to Dubrovnik for my birthday next month and here's what's coming in my suitcase:
🛍️ This incredible maxi dress from River Island. Obsessed!
🛍️This Quiz playsuit I scooped up in the sale. It's adorable!
🧖♀️My trusty SPF50 that I wear every single day of my life. I simply can't imagine being out in the sun without this.
💕The Lee Stafford De-Humidifier Spray. I've been using this for over a decade and it keeps my frizzy hair under control when I travel.
💊Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies. I don't have the best immune system so I'm prone to pick up any and all germs when I travel. I've always found apple cider vinegar helps with that and the gummies are far easier to travel with than the liquid version!
See you next week!
Aimee xo
